“It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.” – William Shakespear
Let’s talk about standards and expectations.
According to the online Merriam Webster Dictionary:
: a level of quality, achievement, etc., that is considered acceptable or desirable
standards: ideas about morally correct and acceptable behavior
: something that is very good and that is used to make judgments about the quality of other things
noun \ˌek-ˌspek-ˈtā-shən, ik-\
: a belief that something will happen or is likely to happen
: a feeling or belief about how successful, good, etc., someone or something will be
I heard a gal once mention that she needed a man who had a car, degree, job, and was responsible, for she had high standards and would not settle for anything lower than herself. She had to progress, she said.
See, I don’t have a problem with people looking for certain things or traits in another individual. What does bother me is people walking around with a sense of entitlement and/or thinking they are ‘higher’ or ‘better’ because they possess a college degree.
(And hold up. What is this progressing nonsense? I see this all too often — People overshadowing someone else’s achievements as theirs. Ever hear a parent say: “My daughter did great! She married a doctor. I’m so proud of her”? Ummm…that’s his achievement and his pride to claim, not your daughter’s. What is your daughter doing for herself? That’s the better question.)
It wasn’t the first time I heard a statement like hers in my circle of college-educated friends. In other instances, I’ve overheard comments about the respect somebody deserves because of how much bigger their paycheck is.
I’m sorry, what?
What happened to the humility, my College-Educated Friends? In my lifetime I’ve met many people who are equally (if not more) amazing and with no college education and no material riches.
Do not confuse education with knowledge.
And every human deserves your respect until they don’t…REGARDLESS of the size of their paycheck and degree, or lack of. Understand that college is not for everyone. And it’s true that you will probably work for someone who dropped out of school or was the C student.
I like to think that the same applies to any human relationship. When you set standards and expectations for yourself and other individuals, expect to limit yourself and meet many disappointments…Especially when you set those standards and expectations with an arrogant attitude.
As I mentioned recently to a friend on her blog, for a completely unrelated subject, expectations are a false illusion of what we deserve. And by creating expectations, we might just be limiting ourselves from other GREATER, BETTER things life can bring us. Expectations can blind us, making us miss something completely amazing because we were so busy focusing on those ‘expectations’. We have no control over others, and so especially having expectations of others seems a little bit silly.
Somewhere along the lines, society made us believe that we DESERVE THE BEST. Maybe your parents instilled this in you at a young age. Perhaps you’ve been the princess (or prince) in your home, and whatever “princess wants, princess gets.” TRUST ME, some people don’t grow out of it and continue to think they’re a princess and therefore deserve a princess lifestyle…
Which is great!…except…Let me break something down for you…
You don’t just DESERVE the best. You only deserve what you work for and what you give:
- You want a fancy pricey lifestyle? Go out and work for it! Achieve it for yourself. No one should have to hand it to you on a silver platter just because you believe you DESERVE it. There is nothing enviable or boastful about that.
- You want a spouse with a bangin’ body? Well you, too, better be working on your own bangin’ body!
- You want a good-hearted, honest person by your side? You better believe that’s the exact same energy you should be giving out to everyone. I repeat – EVERYONE. It’s true that you attract whatever energy you give out – negative or positive.
How you treat and/or talk about people is a direct reflection of yourself.
And if you truly put in the work to achieve ‘the best’ to your ‘standards’ (and I don’t mean working hard to find someone who will provide you with all that you want) — then GREAT! Very well deserved! But that doesn’t mean that a person who does not achieve those same things is any less than you.
I guess all I’m trying to say is that when it’s all said and done, we are all ordinary people. Yo’ $hit does indeed stank! Know what you want in life, strive for great things — but in the process, stay humble. And don’t have such a closed mindset checking off standards and expectations to a T.
You are not better than me, and I am not better than you because of the degree you have and the things you can afford.
Love and Humility,